"Remember that the person you love is the person they are today because of all the past experiences they had before you met them. You can't delete history."
— Unknown
"Hey, here's a little friendly advice from me to you: if this were a battlefield, you'd be dead."
— Malo, The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
"I don't see how some folks can be so dumb. You got the nerve to think you're livin' good, but all you're gettin' is crumbs!"
— Millie Jackson, Leftovers
"Save me the Sesame Street pep talk, would you?."
— An Angry Gay Man
"Well that's the slut calling the whore cheap."
— An Angry Gay Man
"People who have to live a "lifestyle" do so because they are incapable of creating a unique one of their own."
— An Angry Gay Man
"People who have to live a "lifestyle" do so because they are incapable of creating a unique one of their own."
— An Angry Gay Man
"Thou Shall Not Suffer Fools."
— An Angry Gay Man
"I'd be a team player if I got paid like a pro athlete."
— Maxine (The grumpy Hallmark character)
"Just because the lid of the dumpster is open doesn't mean I have to climb inside it and roll around."
— An Angry Gay Man
"Escapism is a beautiful thing."
— An Angry Gay Man
"I'm a grown up. I don't hide my porn. It's in a folder called porn. And if people go in there and find porn, well what did they expect?"
— drunkredneck45
"God doesn't create trash, some people just aspire to it on their own."
— An Angry Gay Man
"Being pretty doesn't have anything to do with being able to find someone who understands."
— Mari Iijima
"It's like kosher porn watching that man run naked into the lake and splash around with other naked young men."
— An Angry Gay Man on Mandy Patinkin's nude scene in the film Yentl
"Some heartaches you get over and some just grow with time."
— R. Stegall & C. Waters, Texas Heartache
"My ideal man is a dildo; the package without the baggage"
— Michael Massie
"I need love... The kind of love that only Fierce Deity Link can provide. No other man can match up that that."
— An Angry Gay Man
"...Sadness is just another word for not enough coffee."
— Wally, Dilbert
"Men, like Doritos, are a commodity you can never have just one of."
— An Angry Gay Man
"I never realized that being under-issued could be a crime to some people."
— An Angry Gay Man
"I'm not Julia Child, but I certainly drink like her when I cook."
— An Angry Gay Man
"The world is not black and white like a 50's sitcom!"
— An Angry Gay Man
"All of the coffee in Columbia will not make me a morning person!"
— Jennifer Alvey
"What color of stupid is THAT?"
— Philip McNiel
"Oh, Great Martha Stewart, lend me thy fury..."
— Michael Massie
"Boo hoo hoo, save it for Oprah... I don't want to hear it!"
— Michael Massie
"Having a new man is like a fabulous new tote bag: You just can't get enough of strutting around with it on your arm showing off."
— An Angry Gay Man
"...I only came in here for groceries, not to hear the story of your pathetic life."
— Vicki Lawrence, Mama's Family
"See... when I signed up to be Gay, I refused the memo that said I had to be some Che Guavera socialist radical... the hell with that... I'm a cocksucker, not a communist... and to hell with Republicans and Democrats both for thinking that I should change."
— Philip McNiel
"Cars, like men, are a lot of hassle and maintenance."
— An Angry Gay Man
"Like Galadriel I'm a fairy queen that knows much and says little."
— An Angry Gay Man
"Like Hello Dolly, Tenchi can apparently be revived endlessly."
"I am the Intelligent Cow, Bovine Extraordinaire. Evil and hurtful words will bounce off my spotted leather skin....or my fat ass depending on its trajectory."
— Daphne Bassi
"Marshmallow Peeps, whilst fun to look at, should never, under any circumstances, be eaten. If You want to live, that is."
"If wrong had a name, it would be An Angry Gay Man."
— Bryan Crossland
"Dumbbells are easy to come by, but most of them are married."
— Rue McClanahan
"It's no wonder us homo's know how to dress, for centuries we were forced in the closet."
— Isaac Mizrahi
"Gay marriage should be legal if just to raise the standards of dancing at the receptions..."
— Liz Langley
"One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love."
— Sophocles
"Have you ever noticed it says you're going STRAIGHT to hell? It never says you're going GAY to hell!"
— Michael Massie
"I make things pretty, I don't make them work."
— An Angry Gay Man
"Well Match.com apparently isn't doing its homework right if it's matching bottoms with bottoms!"
— An Angry Gay Man on Gay on-line match making
"If only I could discipline my eating habits as easily as I discipline men..."
— Sir Kinki
"There are Christians and there are "Church Folk". "Church Folk" are the agents of the Devil undermining the work of the Almighty. They call themselves Christians but harbor within them enough hate, spite, uncharitablity towards their fellow man and self-centeredness to share."
"I haven't had a beating like that since kindergarten!"
— Daphne Bassi on her childhood in Manila
"I want to suck that cock so bad even though I know he's a cad!"
— An Angry Gay Man on the subject of Jude Law's penis
"Are you magically delicious or just angry and drunk?"
— Michael Massie
"Never allow someone to be your priority by allowing yourself to be their option."
— Bibish Kazadi
"I'm a permanent resident of the Island Of Misfit Toys."
— Jennifer Alvey
"You know you're Gay when the perfect man is beyond perfect and you don't know what to do with yourself..."
— Michael Massie
"My perfect man would be a combination of Mr. Clean and Captain Morgan. If only I could mix the perfect man as easily as I can mix those two I'd be all set."
— An Angry Gay Man
"Please! My bed is so cold these days you could keep Vandicamps under the sheets!"
— An Angry Gay Man
"I can't believe how stupid people are — they can't see past the clutter to what they are actually buying!"
— A frustrated home seller
"Great, more rotten meat! That's the fucking story of my life!"
— An Angry Gay Man
"We live beyond our means on other people's dreams and that's succeeding."
"My life is based on passion. I live with passion, I love with passion, but I also hate with a passion!"
— Michael Massie
"There are people in this world that believe you can’t convert to a religion because no matter what you do you’re still whatever faith you’re born... yeah, right. If that’s the case, sweetie, you’re still a Pagan so put down the fucking book and stop preaching to me!"
— Michael Massie
"Think back to childhood. Ah, wonderful, carefree, childhood. Now, remember…the rules of falling down. You fall down and if you stay down you get a new toy, if you fall and get back up you get a band-aid and probably a lecture on being more careful. Is this an early form of taught sadism?"
— Michael Massie
"If love is a battle field, than we should all be deeply saddened. The result of battle is only one left standing."
"Masturbation is an act of too much time, meaning 'idle hands are the workshop of the devil'! Be that as it is... I'm proud to be an employee and will gladly work overtime!"
— Michael Massie
"He has a hot body but that doesn't compensate for that dog of a face."
— An Angry Gay Man
"What does his Republican ass want?!"
— Jay-Anne Casuga
"That's part of foreplay. Why stick to the regular menu items when you can taste the regional specialities?"
— Daphne Bassi
"Some day my prince will cum... ...and not immediately get up, put his clothes back on, and leave after the fact."
— An Angry Gay Man
"It's Pinoy overload. That's what you do, overreact."
— Jay-Anne Casuga
"Let's face it, there's a touch of the Homosexual in all of us."
— Tallulah Bankhead
"My lesbianism is an act of Christian charity. All those women out there praying for a man, and I'm giving them my share."
— Rita Mae Brown
"The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision."
— Lynn Lavner
"Is there life on Mars, and if so would I get more sleep if I moved there?"
— An Angry Gay Man
"Dogs get VERY territorial on leashes, while ironically enough men get VERY sexually aroused on leashes... Ah, the mysteries of life."
— An Angry Gay Man
"'Ave Maria' — A classic Christian anthem.
'Oy Ve, Maria!' — The cry of a Jewish mother who has just found out that her daughter gave her virginity to a man who was NOT Jewish or a Doctor."
— An Angry Gay Man
"Jem: Birth mother to an entire generation of young drag queens."
— An Angry Gay Man
"Apparently great minds watched the same cartoons as a kid."
— An Angry Gay Man
"This is a steriotypical Gay man's life in three songs by Madonna in exact order in which they happen: 'Like A Prayer', 'Erotica', and 'Frozen'."
— Michael Massie
"Rosemary's baby has nothing on me as a child!"
— An Angry Gay Man
"I bitch because I care. And that goes for nagging as well!"
— An Angry Gay Man
"What's a fuck between friends?"
— An Angry Gay Man
"Is there such a thing as a Nippletologist?"
— An Angry Gay Man
"Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there to spread nasty rumors about your personal life based on tidbits they infer after watching you with binoculars through the blinds."
— Heather Posey
"True friends stay with you forever, even if they do come in and out of your life at times."
— An Angry Gay Man
"My moment, my Marlboro."
— An Angry Gay Man
"Masturbation: The solution for keeping kids out of trouble and off the streets."
— An Angry Gay Man
"In case you hadn't noticed the Neverland National Forest has been bulldosed and developed into expensive condos."
— An Angry Gay Man
"Your tickets to Neverland have expired!"
— Daphne Bassi
"Romantics never die, they just become cynical."
— An Angry Gay Man
"You can't fool the creator's eyes."
"Insomnia, you are my sadistic lover."
— An Angry Gay Man
"Under the covers — that's where you discover if your man is whole."
"When you talk about a great actor, you're not talking about Tom Cruise"
— Lauren Bocall
"The only important thing to me right now is vodka."
— Candace Bushnell, Sex And The City (The Novel)
"You can't make anyone love you and you can't keep anyone from dying."
— Sue Grafton, H Is For Homicide
"Either get your shit together or get the Hell out of my life!"
— An Angry Gay Man
"It's a shame that you wanted me and didn't try."
— Stevie Nicks, Enchanted
"Life goes on, even when it's not fair"
— Josh Leo, Pam Tillis, & Mark Wright, Goin' To Work
"Life is all about ass: you're either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it, or behaving like one!"
— Anon
"Bedrooms were intended for oral consumption."
— An Angry Gay Man
"Don't make me lose the baby!"
— D
"Anything to distract herself from the eating disorder."
— An Angry Gay Man
"It's easier to act important than actually be important."
— An Angry Gay Man
"If it is a sin to covet stuff that belongs to your neighbors, is it still a sin if you covet your neighbor?"
— An Angry Gay Man
"Tom [Cruise] should stick to saving the world from aliens and let women who are experiencing postpartum depression decide what treatment options are best for them."
— Brooke Shields
"Dancing is what I do best, not marching while spinning a big stick!"
— An Angry Gay Man
"Oh, great my Zen garden just burst into flames..."
— An Angry Gay Man
"Men are like Dove bars. One is great. Two make you sick."
— Candice Bergen, Murphy Brown
"There are two seasons in Washington: Winter and Tourist Season."
— An Angry Gay Man
"Even I know the difference between loving someone and going to bed with ‘em."
— Tennesee Williams, Night Of The Iguana
"Buses remain the transportation method of the great unwashed!"
— Jenn
"There is a fine line between looking and leching."
— An Angry Gay Man
"May someone leave a flaming bag of poop on his doorstep!"
— An Angry Gay Man
"Do you people not understand the concept of subtle jewelry? It's not slick to sport an entire gem mine on your finger!"
— An Angry Gay Man
"Me love you long time. Or until I lose interest. Whichever comes first."
— An Angry Gay Man
"Why don't you drive a little faster, there are still some animals left alive in the road!"
— An Angry Gay Man
"May you grow like an onion, with your head in the ground!"
— Traditional
"This is not the fry line at the Compton Wendies, MOVE YOUR ASS!"
— An Angry Gay Man
"Three words guaranteed to send a chill down your spine: Bridesmaid Paris Hilton."
— Kat Giantis, MSN Hot Gossip
"Whoever thought the long, pointed-toe shoe look for men and women was a good idea should have one of their creations thrust up their ass to show them just how bad an idea it was!"
— An Angry Gay Man
"If you've never been to Ohio, you can't possibly imagine how mundane the whole state is."
— Julie Ecklar
"We all love to instruct, though we can teach only what is not worth knowing."
— Jane Austin, Pride And Prejudice
"I thank you for my share of the favour... but I do not particularly like your way of getting husbands."
— Jane Austin, Pride And Prejudice
"... I'd rather be seduced than comforted."
— Judith Rossner, Looking For Mr. Goodbar
"Being involved with men is such a paradox because you can love them yet hate them at the same time."
— An Angry Gay Man
"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and a woman scorned hath no fury like a group of angry Homosexuals."
— An Angry Gay Man
"I think we're going to make beautiful music togother, or at the very least a lot of loud pounding noise."
— An Angry Gay Man
"There is nothing worse than cheap rich people!"
— An Angry Gay Man
"Paris Hilton is one of the ugliest Fetal Alcohol Syndrome babies to ever reach adulthood."
— An Angry Gay Man
"Cows are the friends we eat."
— An Angry Gay Man
"There are so many divorced dads, older dads, gay dads, and stepdads that Norman Rockwell would have to adjust his depictions of American life if he were working at his easel today."
— Richard Trubo
"Love forgives. Love accepts. Love is peace."
"Today comes the rain, tomorrow comes the shine."
— An Angry Gay Man
"If it's one thing I can't stand it's liars and fuckwits!"
— An Angry Gay Man
"I need a stiff man and a good drink... Though the closest I'm going to come to that right now is a mortuary with a bar!"
— An Angry Gay Man
"Friends are the family one chooses."
— Prudie, Dear Prudie advice columnist
"Sometimes things don't work out the way we plan, but they always work out."
— An Angry Gay Man
"Every moment is a piece of a puzzle. Think of the big picture."
"Why is it that whenever I am in a hurry I can never find my underwear?"
— An Angry Gay Man
"Fuckwittage abounds!"
— An Angry Gay Man
"Clothes aren't the only thing that can change. Tell that to the demons in Hell!"
— Cutey Honey, New Cutey Honey
"Revenge is a dish best served often to those who deserve it."
— An Angry Gay Man
"Life is full of pimps, players, and punks!"
— An Angry Gay Man
"You can't hold onto a broken memory. It will only slip further away and
leave you feeling even emptier than you did before."
— An Angry Gay Man
"We're like two wounded doves trying to share the same branch."
— An Angry Gay Man
"Then why do you two hang out then? What, are you desperate for company?"
— Daphne Bassi..
"Truth stings like a thousand lashes by the crop!"
— A Mike metaphor by Daphne Bassi.
"I hope he meets a fiery end in his car!"
— Daphne Bassi.
"Marriage has been undermined by divorce, so don't tell me about marriage... Don't blame the gay and lesbian, transgender and transsexual community."
— Mayor Richard Daley of Chicago.
"I can never be in love, I can only be in heat."
"Beware of the man who wears a ring that is easily removed."
— An Angry Gay Man
"The great artists of the world are never Puritans, and seldom ordinarily
respectable."
— H. L. Mencken
"In politics the choice is constantly between two evils."
— John Morley
"Better mad with the rest of them than wise alone."
— Baltasar Gracían
"All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a
philosopher."
— Ambrose Pierce
"Valentine's day is coming soon,huh? Bitter & Sweet day for some people. Chocolate with a pinch of salt."
"If Washington caught fire I wouldn't waste my piss on the flames!"
— An Angry Gay Man
"Well just slap a fifty on the dresser and call me 'Angel of the Morning'!"
— An Angry Gay Man
"Delusion doesn't live here. She's over at Jennie Craig's house."
— Laura Wolf, Diary of a Mad Bride
"Take stress one piece of cheesecake at a time and life one bishonen at a time."
— An Angry Gay Man
"The only difference between that and white trash is a tax bracket!"
— An Angry Gay Man
"Well if ya gotta go, best to be buried with firm thighs."
— Yuri, Dirty Pair The Movie
"The innocent glow of Donna Reed and the crisp features of George C. Scott"
— Bea Arther, Maude
"I'm more worn out than a bridal bed."
— An Angry Gay Man
"He's so anal retentive I'm surprised he doesn't suck the furniture up everytime he sits down."
— An Angry Gay Man
"Never give up hope until the last possible moment."
"Blue. Just the color your world becomes when your baby, like a river, runs away from you."
— Charlie Haywood & Mick Mcgee, Blue
