A Message From Pete
At long last I have finally received a message from my friend Pete. It has been a very long time since I last spoke to or saw him. He is a dear friend who came into my life at a time when I needed a good (male) friend to help me find my way again. I love Pete very much and his sudden departure from my life has been like grieving the death of a loved one.
But tonight, after such a long time I received a response from him. I had sent him an e-card a few weeks ago after my phone calls went unanswered. I wanted to send the e-card both out of the message it carried as well as the fact that it has an automatic return receipt feature. Since I couldn't be sure if Pete was even listening to my messages at least the return receipt would tell me if he even read the card. It's silly I know but when you're in pain and you care and worried about someone the way I have about Pete you go to extreme measures to have some validation that your concern is appreciated.
As I said, it was several weeks ago when I sent the e-card and it went un-read. I checked my e-mail today and there was not only a return receipt but a note from Pete. I was overjoyed and over whelmed with emotion, I couldn't get the e-mail open fast enough. His note was brief but basically he thanked me for my friendship and care and told me that he is very depressed and when not out of town is spending most of his time hulled up alone in his house. He said that he needs to be alone right now but appreciates my continued support. He's seeking treatment and is for the most part alright.
I cannot accurately describe the immense sense of relief I felt at reading that letter. It's not the best news in the world but it is news none-the-less and at least he isn't fighting his depression alone. I know about depression, I lived in that Hell of unmoving for enough years to remember what it is like to be down so low you feel like you can never climb back up again. And I understand the need to be alone and work through things. Boy, do I understand that. There are times that, despite everyone's well wishes, you just need to be alone. Right now Pete needs to be alone and I can accept and respect that. It doesn't mean that I won't still send cards and give him calls from time to time, but it definitely means that I won't be making attempts to physically track him down.
I feel such a sense of peace now. I can move on now from this chapter. Pete will forever remain in the forefront of my heart and mind and I will never give up on him, but at least now I know that he's OK and in good hands. I can stop worrying myself sick now and can begin to focus on other areas of my life that need tending to.
