Pandora's Gift Box
There's nothing quite like receiving a surprise Valentine's Day present. Especially if it's from a dear friend or a lover. But what if it's from someone whose attentions you don't want, or worse still the sender is anonymous and there are several possibilities of who the mystery sender is and some of them aren't good.
The latter was part of my most recent relationship dilemna. You see on Saturday I received a large box from the New York First company. I wasn't expecting anything in the mail so it came as quite a surprise. Even more surprising was the fact that it was labelled as a gift. I looked at the postcard that came with the box and all it said was, "...ked alone, or clothed in public... something for you to enjoy." My immediate thought was, "What the fuck does 'ked alone' mean?" followed by the realization that the "gift" inside the box was obscene. Worse of all the card was unsigned so I had no idea who had sent it in the first place and therefore there was no way of guessing.
Hestiantly I opened the box (the way I went about it you'd have thought it was a bomb waiting to go off). To my relief the box did not explode when I opened it and the aforemented gift was a lovely glass bowl that came with two spoons, two straws, and two packages of gourmet frozen hot chocolate mix. I was, and still am, very tickled with it. It's lovely and totally up my alley. Whoever sent it knew me well.
And that's when things got scary. Who sent it? I was positive it was not my beloved Big, for he wouldn't do something like that given the current state of our friendship and knowing how I feel about him without actually making the reason for giving the gift more clear. But even with Big out of the possible candidate pool there were still many others. There was my friend Phil from Nebraska who from time to time sends me sweet and thoughtful gifts just because he's such a nice guy. It could have come from Bibish with whom I have much heartache and sorrow in common with. Or it could be much more sinister. This gift could have come from J.H. He lives in NY and has a crush on me and I am going to see him this weekend.
My blood went cold at the thought. It's bad enough there is an expectation of sex during my impending visit, but sending me a Valentine's gift on top of which just muddies the waters even more. How can I let him down easy and make it clear that we're just friends with the possibility for benefits, if he's sending me romantic gifts!? As you can imagine I was quite upset.
Then as fate would have it, it occurred to me who sent the gift. It must have come from Jay-Anne. She and her new girlfriend were in New York the weekend this gift arrived and she knows how bummed out I've been over Big and about being single. Yes, that was it. What a sweet and loving friend. So with that thought firmly affixed in my mind I placed the frozen hot chocolate set in the pantry for future use and left jay a message on her v-mail thanking her for the thoughtful gift.
Fast forward to today. Jay-Anne, now back from NY, gets on IM and tells me that the gift was not from her. Yeah. Instant panic. I asked Bibish and she knew nothing about it but thought it was sweet, whoever sent it. My list of candidates quickly dwindling I called up Phil at work to enquire if he was mystery Valentine. Normally I wouldn't call him at work but I considered this an emergency, thus the action was justified.
Much to my relief it turns out it was indeed Phil who sent me the gift. He deliberately mistyped the card, the word "Fed" unedited should have read "Naked." The reason he shortened it was because he didn't think I'd want a card with the word 'naked" on it. He's so sweet and considerate. Even though he knows I'm a potty-mouthed trollop he still treats me like a gentlemen. 
He laughed when I told him about my panic and he apologized for any alarm that was caused. He knows the score with J.H. and understands.
By the way, the reason he even wrote that sexual message was because he was making a reference to the Laura Branigan song Spirit Of Love. There is a line in that song that goes "Naked, alone what would I be if your love had never found me?" and there was this one time I said to him, while listening to that song, "She'd be clothed and in public!" I adore Phil, he's such a thoughtful sweetheart. 
But yes, so crisis averted. I still have to have "the talk" with J.H. this weekend but at least I can do it without there being romantic gifts involved. Hopefully it resolve itself as peacefully as this situation did.
