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Condoms + Conditioner

No matter how technologically advanced and disconnected society becomes there still remain certain arenas where privacy and embarrassing interactions continue relatively unchanged. Take for example my trip to CVS this afternoon. Having recently had my hair re-colored in the salon it has been very dry with the texture of steal-wool, especially when wet (even with conditioner!). I've been using shampoo for color-treated hair but regular conditioner, which apparrently isn't enough. So I went to CVS to get some conditioner for color-treated hair. While I was in the store I remembered that I have my NYC excursion with J.H. this weekend, and seeing as how I believe in always being prepared, I decided to also pick up some condoms.

I pick up these two items and am completely nonplused about it as I approach the counter to check out. I lay the stuff down and the lady checking me out scans the items, and while she said nothing, she got the biggest "polite" smile on her face when she looked down and picked up the box of condoms. I could tell she found my purchase, condoms and condition, amusing. It was at that point that I became quite aware of my surroundings and embarrassed. I fumbled with my check card as I tried to pay quickly and get out of there.

I know such a pedestrian act shouldn't bother me but If I want the world to know my business I'll tell them (like I do with this blog). Besides I hate that "look" that people give you when you buy stuff like condoms. You know the look I'm talking about. That goofy-grinned, "Awww isn't that cute/Ooh, he's gonna get some" look.

Self-checkout stations are even worse. While a sales person may give you coy looks, a self-checkout unit has no shame in broadcasting at high volume exactly what items it is you are buying and at what price. Given a choice between the two I'd rather take the coy looks of one over the head-snapping of an entire crowd.

Though even more embarrassing is the fact that when I got back to my office and dropped my bag on my desk and began eating my lunch. The director of HR came over to talk to me about a screw up payroll made on my pay stubs. It wasn't until 30 minutes or more after she left that I realized that when I dropped the CVS bag on my desk the top of it had gaped open revealing its contents, and of course the box of condoms was on top and laying face down so you could see the giant full-color picture of the condom (with neon glow no less) when properly mounted on an erect cock! I was so horrified. No wonder she looked a little distracted when I was talking to her.

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