Citizen Cunt
I'm kind of on an evil little high at the moment as I head to my Monthly D&D Game. Why am I in such a devilish mood? Well let's just say that within the past hour I have gotten to play Citizen Cunt... twice. 
The first incident was just after work. I was heading to the Metro Station as usually when I spot this HUGE anti-abortion demonstration across the street at where else, the "Nutter's Knoll" (a.k.a. Farragut Park) Keep in mind it is 5:30 pm on a Friday afternoon when people are tired and trying to go home and relax for the weekend before dragging back in two days for another grueling Washington work week. These fucking pro-life nazis have a 20 foot long, portable partial wall set up with blown up images of aborted fetuses (most of which were obviously late-term abortions) in all their bloody, graphic glory with slogans such as "Can This be Right?" and "Abortion is Genocide" attached. As you can guess, being the outspoken pro-choice, feminist bitch that I am I immediately got enraged. Even more so because these disturbing images have no place in a public square where innocent bystanders who don't understand these images, SUCH AS CHILDREN, are exposed and potentially traumatized by them. I was happy to see that a cop had already been called to the scene by several citizens and was in the process of preparing to shut that shit things down.
Cop aside I was still in a mood to rain on these nut-jobs parade. After all it had been a hard week. So wasting no time I crossed the street and walked up to this woman handing out pamphlets. Her pod leader, a man in a red hoodie that read "Abortion Is Genocide" was otherwise engaged in arguing with some dude on the sidewalk. If he hadn't been I would have corrected him on the proper use of the term "Genocide." Genocide is the systematic destruction of an entire species or Ethic group. So unless fetuses have now become their own species (something other than human) or ones of a specific ethnicity are being targeted (like in Darfur) abortion cannot be considered genocide. Murder maybe but certainly not genocide. Anyway, I walked straight up to this woman grinning like a Cheshire cat and asked her if this was her "lovely display." She lit all up and said, "Yes!" with rising excitement in her voice. Still grinning wickedly I cheerfully said, "Can I ask you a question?" to which she more enthusiastically said, "Yes!" And that's when I dealt the deathblow and said (still smiling and in the cheeriest voice imaginable), "Do you eat eggs?"
You should have seen that bitches face as it went from pure enthusiastic, nutter bliss to RAGE! She snapped at me, "I'm not going to take this! If you want to waste an hour debating go talk to him!" pointing to the pod leader. I just kept on smiling and said, "Oh, Madame I don't have an hour to waste on you nut cases, I just wanted to ask the question. Have a good weekend!" and with that I strutted off down the sidewalk like Tina Turner during a performance of "Proud Mary".
Ah, if looks could kill I would have been dead. It cracked me up nonetheless. I had the most evil grin on my face the entire Metro ride home. I just couldn't stop grinning or periodically laughing. And to think I didn't even get the chance to go into other such topics as smoking, eating meat, the war in Iraq, or the destruction of wildlife for profit and globalization. You want to talk about genocide, just look at all the species that have been wiped out forever by the destruction of the rain forest, then you tell me how the fetuses are in danger. Besides for every abortion there must be at least 10 women that get pregnant and carry the children to term. We aren't hurting here as a species to reproduce.
Moving on, my second act of bitchiness took place once I got to the Metro Station where my car was parked. As I walked over to the parking deck I saw this gang of kids skateboarding in the lower level of the deck. It was a little past 6 at this point and cars were zooming out of the deck. There are also huge signs big as day that say, "No skateboarding." In fact several people pointed this out to these kids and told them to clear off the premises. The kids basically gave lip service then continued what they were doing. That just pissed me off. If it's one thing that pisses me off more than nutters it's punk kids.
So I went to my car, drove out of the deck (nearly swiping one of those damn mop-headed brats because he was trying to skate between the cars), and re-parked close to the exit gates. Then I walked back into the station and told the manager on duty that he needed to call security or the cops because these kids were skating in the parking deck and not leaving even after having the "No Skating" signs pointed out to them. He eagerly thanked me (clearly he was not aware of the situation) and went into his booth, presumably to call security. I had to get to my game so I didn't hang around to see how it turned out. I hope they busted those filthy little skate rats, serves them right. I came close to hitting another one about a block away from the station because he decided to skate across a busy road, I'm assuming on his way to the Metro Station.
Yes indeed Citizen Cunt was in full swing this evening. Nothing like idiots behaving badly after a hard week to get the old blood boiling and the bitchiness flowing. Tormenting the pro-life nutters aside I hope I built up some good karma points by turning those punks in. That shit was just damn wrong.
