Crack Attack 2005
I have noticed lately that the number of incidents involving women's ass cracks and hip hugger jeans is on the rise. It used to be that every now and again you'd catch sight of the natural "Y". Now it seems that it's everywhere. No matter where you go, anytime of the year women are running around in hip hugger jeans with no belts (or ineffective fashion belts) and mooning the world. Be it walking or worse still, sitting or bending down ones field of vision is constantly being assaulted by images like these:
It's disgusting and trashy looking and you can't escape from it. The office seems to be a hot bed of crack attacks. Be it hip hugger pants or lowrise skirts, there are cracks waiting to jump out and surprise you. I have seen more bare and g-string covered cracks at my office than I've seen when helping my girl friends' shop for lingerie at Victoria's Secret! I don't need to be THAT intimately acquainted with my female coworkers!
And as sad as it is to say I even have girl friends who are guilty of the crack attack. You ladies know who you are, because every time I see one of you committing the crime of crack attacking I either say something to you about it or simply grab your pants by the belt loops and yank them up. SOMEBODY has to do something about this epidemic of anal indecency. For Christ sake even the Coppertone suntan lotion girl has learned to cover her crack after all these years of letting the cheeks hang out.
So I beg you, ladies PLEASE stop wearing low riding pants, or at least wear a fucking belt and refrain from bending over in them! Nobody (nobody that you want anyway) wants to see your crack outside of the bedroom. Not to mention the fact it makes you look like cheap, dirty whores, and as a proud manwhore I can tell you that is the WORST type of whore to be labeled as!
